Coat of Many Colors
"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."
Stitching Strength from Struggle
I have faced many challenging situations, but I always try to see the positive side of them, so much so, sometimes to a fault. It’s like I took every piece of my experience in life and sewed it into a coat. It’s a lot of work to sew a coat. Every little piece has to be cut to size, and every little detail adds value to the unique piece.
As I watch the brilliant hues of my life experiences, folding each edge under the seams and admiring the brilliance of my own self-work, I remind myself: be kind to yourself. Sometimes, self-reflection can be very difficult. As you peel back the layers of long-forgotten times and bring them to the forefront, it’s like experiencing the pain all over again.
A Wake-Up Call
My journey to self-recovery started two decades ago, when I received an invite to a school reunion.My daily regimen and the struggles of life didn’t give me much time to reflect. My youngest child has a learning disability. My second child was dealing with low confidence because of his height and ADHD. My oldest, my daughter, had needs I barely had time to meet.
I didn’t have much space to cope with who I was becoming. But then came the reunion. I had to face my classmates, some of whom I had envied, despised, admired, wept, dreamed, and giggled with 20 years ago. I comforted myself, showed up, and told myself I would make a good copy of myself. Hiding my insecurities with a smile, I gathered the strength to meet them.
The Unspoken Truth
We were very casually careful at first. But soon it came out that I wasn’t the only one struggling with life. My friends were too. Somehow, in our hearts, we knew we were the only ones who could truly recognize our faults and embrace our new versions.
As I moved from one conversation to another, I learned, One of them was now a teacher, another worked in an IT firm, one handled accounts, another had become an artist. Each had their own accomplishments. And while I felt pride in hearing them speak, I must admit, something inside me felt hollow.
Right then and there, I decided to change the tides of my life.
The evening ended with a toast to our younger selves and to the matured people we had become. We were old enough now to know that life is short and that we must try to make the best of what we have. All in all, I am glad that I went and even more glad for the changes I made afterward.
A Coat Worn with Pride
Today, after completing my college degree at the age of 48, my post-graduation, and an internship in mental health in the US, I am wearing my coat like a banner of pride.
I love the way my inner self looks now. As painful as it was, it became a blessing.As I stand in front of the mirror admiring my own creation, I want to give hope to everyone who thinks it's not possible to gather their life again. Go grab each opportunity, Embrace your flaws and Gather your strength. There’s nothing that can stop the journey you are just about to embark on. Your past is not your prison. It is your pattern, made up of color, chaos, pain, perseverance, and growth. Sew it well. Wear it with pride. And never forget: you are the masterpiece you've been stitching all along.
Anupama Rao
